Social media, this soul-consuming device that sucks away most spare, and not-so-spare moments of our time, really had me worried there for a while. I can’t begin to regret enough the trillions of minutes I’ve flushed away tip tapping away on MSN messenger (remember that?) or Facebook, or Pinterest. A marvellous thing happens when the clock strikes midnight on your 24th birthday though. Somehow you have a newfound ability to utilise social media for your needs rather than your wants. At least that’s what we’re telling them. Despite its follies, I am grateful to the social media gods (and the Kardashians) for inventing Throwback Thursday (also Flingback Friday, Turnback Tuesday, Waybackwhen Wednesday, Sometimeago Sunday, etc).
Throwbacks are awesome because:
- When done correctly, throwbacks are a selfless self-roast: a moment when we admit to the rest of our friends that at one point or another our crap was not together.
- There’s a special bond and unity that comes from realising that everyone went through an awkward eyebrow phase.
- It’s the age-old question we first pondered in elementary school history class: why do we study the past? Reflecting on one’s history is an incredibly advanced sociological activity that should probably be done more often. I love remembering how my family interacted at different points in our little history. To observe change since and to consider how I’d want the next moment of my life to be looked back on.
That time I briefly lost my senses and was a tomboy for a hot second. I’ll help you out: I’m the one on the left. On my team choices: I’d like to point out that supporting Manchester United was more of a decision to support rising star and all-around hottie David Beckham. Which I should also point out was only in my allegiance to Posh Spice’s choice in boyfriend. So you see, even my most boyish of moments was laced in girl power.
Which brings me to this gem:
This is The Pearl Girls, a girl band I formed. We performed small concerts at playground and sold copies of our handwritten fan magazine, which we photocopied on my Dad’s photocopier, much to his chagrin. Obviously now we are bonding as you are no doubt recalling your own elementary school girl band and the fan fiction you spent hours writing and stapling.
This throwback obviously demonstrates me peaking at age 8: As if Doritos and merry-go-rounds weren’t impressive enough, this super tanned, super toothy tot is safety conscious. She’s got smarts y’all.
This is obviously one of those self-roast throwbacks that make you all feel relieved that I am in fact capable of amateur-hour antics. A tractor, McKee, really? A Jean-dress? A SCRUNCHIE? The mind boggles.