My friends and I made our way to St Paul’s Cathedral via Millennium Bridge, which I was expecting to be cooler than it was. When push comes to shove I guess there’s only so much one can expect from a bridge. So in retrospect, okay, yeah, it was cool. I secretly like it when you can feel a bridge jiggle under your weight. There’s something powerful about it. And slightly terrifying. Imagine if Millennium Bridge just gave up under some fatty pedestrian. That would be the most powerful fatty in all the land. Then what would happen? Would the whole thing just flop into the water, or would you get flipped over? It’s kind of morbid to think about actually, so never mind.


Every time I find myself within view of St. Paul’s, I’m suddenly contending with the urge to loudly warble my way through that song, “Feeeeeed the biiirrrrrds, tuppence — a baaaagggg–” – It’s a problem, because that’s not the sort of song that can drop out of your head immediately. It’ll be rolling around in there the entire day. The sad truth is that those famous steps have been replaced with posh crisp cut new ones, so it hardly feels legit.

The outside of St. Paul’s is impressive. There’s a Grecian feel to it, almost. I could spend hours examining the contours of the stone, the various statues and stories that line the walls. The inside is just as impressive. I guess there are a number of famous and royal corpses sitting inside the cathedral itself. I wish I’d paid more attention because instead I was slowly spinning around, mouth agape, eyes wide at the intricate ceiling. I’m at that age where I’m actually into mouldings and crownings and all of that sort of stuff. Where I was once fantasizing of cool outfits and shoes, I’m now thinking of my ideal living room ceiling situation. Yeah, it’s just as sad as it sounds.


For the outrageous price of seventeen pounds, you can have a tour of the building, including the basements, roof, and all of that jazz. But I’m on a shoestring budget, so I’ll just wait for the next Da Vinci movie to get my fill of catholic relics and history and such. Because there was a cool ice cream truck outside and I fancied a cone.

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