THE CHANGING OF THE GUARDS

horse-guard-retreat

It’s on the top of a lot of touristy lists of things to do- and frankly I can’t tell you why. If you want to see a fancy interchange between ornately dressed men who scream remarks at one another that could be interpreted as either compliments or reprimands (one never knows), then maybe this is the thing for you. I opted to watch the changing of the guards as well as the daily inspection of the Queen’s horsemen. I figured throwing in some wildlife might spice up the whole charade, but sadly it was just as dull as the initial guard changing. It went on for far too long and I found myself feeling anxious for the actual horses. The captain guy who shouts and screams at everyone systematically dismisses the best horses first and it felt like watching a sad gym class where the fat kid gets picked last. I don’t know how the captain makes his choices, because honestly all of the horses look like clones. But it’s a thorough inspection; I reckon the captain even checks to see if there’s anything between the horses’ teeth, and makes sure there’s no knots in their tails or manes. I’ll admit I got distracted by my surroundings and maybe didn’t pay close attention, but the whole thing lasted almost a full 30 minutes! That’s a whole episode of Friends, WITH commercial breaks. Once is enough for me, so if I’m ever showing you around town and you want to do this, I’ll just meet up with you later.

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