This is Michael, a dashingly handsome fellow from Washington state. Because he faithfully reads The Holliedays, occasionally comments and always looks fabulous, Michael is being awarded The Hollidays’ Most Valuable Reader Award (prize to be determined at a future date).
Here are ten stories about Michael:
- Michael enjoys “old man clothes,” my favourite item of which is an interesting orange print collared t shirt. I couldn’t tell you what exactly the print consists of- but my gut tells me it has something to do with fish, maybe. Other “old man” pieces in his wardrobe include shoes with tassels, which arguably add sophistication to his overall mien, and his signature black rimmed glasses. He wore them before people knew they were cool: the ultimate trend-setter.
- One source told of her fondest memory of her friend Michael, with whom she attended a Warped Tour. At said event, Michael donned women’s booty shorts and a mismatching shirt. The occasion was said to be so raucous that my source fell down and fainted from dehydration. When she came too, Michael handed her a Gatorade, “I hope you’re happy, this cost me $5.”
- Michael is an Elementary Ed. Major, and works full time at a school for autistic children. He once came home with a red bit mark on his arm, but could only laugh about it. I like that about him.
- Michael is known for his memorable one-liners. Once, in Vegas, he grew frustrated with the traffic and yelled, “It’s like India here, there are no rules!” I enjoy the fact that Michael draws perspective from many different cultures and peoples.
- In high school, Michael was the drummer in a band named Vintage Valkaries. They were very popular, and Michael scored many a girl from his fame.
- Michael’s hair is just as sacred as Justin Bieber’s.
- Michael, ever the heartbreaker, has inspired lyrics of heart-felt women’s empowerment songs. A good friend of mine surprised Michael at a concert she was holding with a new song she had written about Michael breaking the heart of another friend. Michael’s face- red hot and shock-ridden- was one of the funniest things I have ever seen. The tension was so thick (the heart-broken friend was also in the room) and the room almost instantly divided into Team Michael and Team Rachel (name changed).
- Michael once took me to Cornbelly’s Corn Maze for some Hallowe’en fun. Together we screamed all the way though the haunted mazes. My favourite moment was when Michael tripped and almost fell as we ran past scary actors with chainsaw’s and the like.
- When we play our juvenile version of MASH, the universe always tells us that Michael and I would have the greatest love of all time- and watching him wiggle his eyebrows is the funniest thing ever.
- When it’s Michaels turn to host Sunday dinner, Ramen noodles is what his guests have come to anticipate.
Congratulations on being one of my favourites, Michael Natter!