Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes insisted on playing a free concert for me last night in Salt Lake City. OK, OK, I said, and ventured down there with Haili, Melissa, Jordan, Kip, Steve, and some other hipsters I didn’t get to really know. I knew I wouldn’t have to care too much about my appearance, so I opted for a plaid shirt and BOBS. That was about as rural-scene as I could stretch it- but I soon realized that I looked like the poster version of a small town lesbian. I spent most of my evening trying to fend off the advances of a rather high, rather bosom-y lady with crazy eyes who was keen on grinding with my awkward plaid-ed self. I have a pretty high tolerance for sardine style concert-ing, but when she began trying to pull me down to the ground to have her way with me, I finally turned around and gave her “the look,” to which she responded “oh… can I jump on you?”
“Not even a little bit, girlfriend,” (yeah I “girlfriended” her). Then she ACTUALLY batted her bloodshot eyes,
“Come on… It’ll be fun,” spoken like a real serpent-in-the-garden.
Besides this unexpected interlude, the concert was pretty good. The Magnetic Zeroes have a way of coming across as really genuine, despite a full checklist of poserish traits. Here’s the spectacular Alexander (who really knows how to love a crowd):
Ironically enough, the girl from the opening band was wearing the same thing.
And here I am with the girls:
I have a pretty large FACE. Really- proportionally, something is not right.