After such a long absence from your lives (I know, you’ve been suffering), I thought it only fit that I return today, the momentous date of the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, now to be known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
Being in the US meant that I had to set my alarm for 3am in order to tune in to the live broadcast. I did so, and even left my lamp on so as to prepare my eyeballs for a swift awakening.
As it turns out, I slept through my alarm and instead was awoken by a text message from an expectant friend, who hoped that my patriotism was little stronger than it evidently proved to be. Horrified, I realized I had slept through the whole bloody thing.
Lucky for me- the whole online world is quite obsessed with the whole affair, so in 30 minutes I was up to date on everything. So, as I am sure you are reading purely for my expert opinion, here are my thoughts:
1) There’s no escaping it, so let’s get the ugliness out of the way. William is not the stud he once was. The thirteen year old inside of me is still forlorn at the thought of the rapidly thinning hair. The silver lining, of course, is that Harry is positively charming by comparison:
The record might as well reflect that I am a fan of William. For the first time in… well, EVER, England will actually have a univerity educated King. One day. You might as well know that Kate also graduated, and will one day be the first Queen of such caliber. How thrilling. One can only hope the Queen skips Charles altogether and bequeeths the throne directly to Wills & Kate.
2) The dress was, I think, absolutely perfect. It was respectful of Princess Diana’s legendary frock: the train and skirt paid homage to it. It was mindful of the most stylish of fashionistas to be crowned royalty before her: the neckline and tight waist reflected Grace Kelly’s beautiful timeless dress. The veil was perfect- so elegant and practical for all of her smiling and waving and public greeting etc.
3) I love how the Beckhams steal the limelight wherever they turn. Even though Victoria looks like she’s wearing a funeralesque poncho of sorts, I’ve got to respect her for her mad skills walking in those heels while being ridiculously pregnant. Please also note her rock. She’s practically working out, not attending a wedding.
4) Pippa Middleton, in my opinion, was the classiest thing about the whole shindig. Which is sayig something, because the whole thing was rather extravagantly excellent. I will forever marvel at her beautiful Maid of Honor attire- and attest that it was even more stupendous than Kate’s dress.
5) Hats. I have come to the conclusion that hats are in the top ten things that Great Britains should be proud of.
6) The balcony kiss left much to be desired. I guess it comes with the whole royal public firgures territory, but I feel like a marriage is the kind of thing you want to be passionate about. They should have given it a bit more welly.