ODE TO UNPRODUCTIVITYNESS

As with the majority of my posts, I blog to you from a pit of other work that I should probably continue focusing my attention on.  Alas, you will know by now that my attention meanders in a way that makes it impossible for me to be entirely productive in any amount of given time.  For example: I had set today aside purposefully with the intent on catching up with my entire school existence and possibly even getting a little ahead of myself so that I won’t feel entirely guilty tomorrow when I engross myself in the 83rd annual Academy Awards ceremonies.

I planned on getting up at a ridiculously early hour (by Saturday-standards at least), attend a few study sessions and then knuckle down with the ultimate goal of actually considering the word “f i n i s h e d.”  I actually woke up when my alarm told me to, but abused it sorely by slamming a disoriented fist on its poor head.  There was a remarkably mature moment that followed the violent slap- a flash of duty ran across my mind and I half resolved to drag my body out of my cosy cocoon and get on with it.  But almost as quickly as I considered this, I thought quite simply, “NO,” and that was that.  Perhaps I should be disturbed at my very human, very selfish ability to  give in to laziness so easily…

Anyway, I vaguely remember receiving a call from my Mother maybe an hour after I defiantly ignored my alarm clock.  I also vaguely remember picking up the phone and uttering the word “no” into the receiver and rolling over on my side once more.  There’s something to be said for this kind of naughtiness.  It’s impossibly delightful, at times, to be experiencing something so completely indulgent- such as the wonderful formula of sleep + ralph lauren sheets + duvet + subconscious knowledge of gross cold outside of my cocoon- that and to make the conscious decision that regardless of the consequences, YOU would not be the one to end any of it.  So I slept.

When I finally felt enough guilt to coax me out of bed, I set up my little work area in the dining room and waited for my enthusiasm to rouse itself.  It didn’t happen.  I crept through my text books, slowly lifting each page without necessarily pausing over any words, just waiting for something- anything- to distract me.  As it turns out, distractions aren’t hard to come by.  I spent an hour trying to decide what song was playing in the background of a commercial that accidently– okay fine, not “Accidently”– played.  I probably spent a half hour examining the Rancherito’s mexican food that my roommate persuaded me to eat.  I spend another half an hour eating it.  I spent another half an hour researching the possible detrimental consequences of eating it.  And maybe another twenty minutes worrying about the next twenty four hours BECAUSE I had eaten it.

Then I got distracted by my brother, who called me to literally just say HI.  He had no news for me whatsoever, and I spent twenty minutes quizzing him as to why he would call me when he had nothing in particular to tell me.  I was teasing him of course- because even when Connor has nothing to say, it manages to be a ridiculously entertaining way to spend my time.  In the end we decided that he was just “following up on you.”  I’m not quite sure what that really means, but I like it when he follows up on me.

Then my roommates and I got into the usual boy-talk- and when there’s nine of you who all lead pretty soap-opera-esque college lives, there’s a lot of material to cover.

Then I fell asleep.  I don’t know how that happened, because I generally disagree with day-sleeping unless you have a legitimate reason- and sleeping in as late as I did this morning, well, there was no legitimacy about the situation.  When I was done with my naughtiness, I had to take a shower to rid myself of the nap-hangover I was experiencing, and all of a sudden the day was over.

Anyway, I wasn’t planning on divulging (in quite so much detail at least) my shameful Saturday with you.  Rather I was going to make a few points on the as-of-late and whatnot.  Here are some of the highlights of my February:

1. SNOOKIE.  I have never- nor will I ever- drown my time in such shows as THE JERSEY SHORE.  My time is far better spent on Grey’s and the occasional Parks and Recreation action.  But I came across this image in a magazine, and fully believe that it will have the same power to make me giggle uncontrollably even on my deathbed.

2. TRON: legacy.  I dragged Anna to this movie-in 3d- at the dollar movies.  It more than compensated for having to sit in less than cushy chairs and be creeped on by the Elvis impersonator who sat beside me and spent the majority of the motion picture staring at my illegal concessions.  I think he was trying to make me feel guilty- but I refuse to feel guilty about cheating the system when the system charges you twelve dollars and 33% of your soul for a handful of popcorn.  Was taking sushi into a dollar movie a bit of a stretch?  Maybe.  But sometimes you’ve got to show The Man what’s what.  Anyway, the film was considerably wonderful.  I judge movies based on my desire to experience a similar situation.  For instance, anyone who watches Avatar (the blue people one, not the awful M. Night Shyamalanawan one) and DOESN’T spend at least ten minutes considering how cool it would be if their own skin could glow in the dark, ought to have their movie-watching privileges taken away.  As it stands, Tron still has me coveting a leather/lightbulb onesie and motorcycle-type-thing that pops out of a stick thing.  Also I learned to appreciate Jeff Bridges, and the sheer talent of Daft Punk who scored the thing.

3. LITTLE BROTHER GETTING MARRIED.  I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about this yet.  Alastair and Laleinia are getting married in April- together they look like the world’s most beautiful couple.  Lain is ridiculously sweet and makes Alastair giddy.  I’m stoked for them and can’t wait to officially have a sister!  Congrats you two!

Also, thank you to the multitude of kind souls who have checked in with me to reassure me that “my time will come.” For the record, this is really my least favourite thing to hear as a mere 22 yr old.

4.  THE BRILLIANCE OF MIX CDS- which this month have proven to be the most exciting gift I have ever received, ever, ever.

5. MY GROWING FRUSTRATION WITH UTAHN USAGE OF THE FOLLOWING:

Well, Mum, my homework is less than f i n i s h e d, but at least I have my health.

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