Mulling and its Outcomes

True to my word, you find me slumped in a corner of my room (“my room” being the room my parents call “Hollie’s Room,” which is, while I am not with her, my mother’s long awaited secret place where she stores her shoes, nick nacks and other momish things. All of which she hides in OTHER secret places before I get here, lest I steal things I like).

Thought processing ADD: When I bought my mac-a-lac, it was supposed that, on a full tank of battery power, I might have 8 hours of battery life. How, then, can it have been on charge all day and now read 2.38 hours of battery left? Y0u may now picture me in the corner of my room, wedged between my bed and radiator, shaking my fist. I actually did it so that you wouldn’t be mind-lying.
Attention regrouped. Song on repeat.
Germany is just as I left it in December: only instead of snow, I have seen a little rain and mostly beautiful blue skies. Anyone who knows me will know that I despise grey skies that do not release rain (why? what is the point of a heavy looming sky that just sits there, not raining?), and adore cloudless, perfectly blue skies. When people consider their favourite season, I always take the time to mull over different seasons and my deeper appreciation for each one: spring time, and its symbolism to life beginning and blossoming; fall and it’s beautiful color and recognition of change and age; winter and the miracle of snow fall and yuletide bliss. But no! Sign me up for summer with endless nights, popsicles, tan lines and sticky attire! Forget symbolism and take me as I am!
I promised myself I would think seriously about my future- what I am doing with my life- while I was here. But when I actually got here, and beginning to think about it put me into cold sweats in the first thirty seconds, I thought- really quite simply- “no.” I know you expect more from me. Anyone reading from my high school years might be astounded by that confession. To them I say “People Change”: another simple and un-satisfying explanation, I’m sure.
Back to blogging (which, I am sure you can tell by now, has no real thesis). One thing I am feeling rather upset about at this point in time is my lack of blogging lately. Cliche (as outlined in the previous post) I know, but as my blog-lacking aunt Jules can attest to, it has rather spoiled my already diminishing sense of organization. Especially so, as I try to convince myself that writing a journal is unnecessary if I blog. My recently returned missionary brother declared that blogging, he thought was a crude and public excuse of exhibition. I did not bother explaining how a lot of employers now ask for any blog addresses. That’s my only real excuse with merit. Not that entertaining you blans (or bleaders- blog/ readers. get it?) isn’t reason enough for writing.
Moving on (finally, I hear you say): some things I have been pondering lately (besides my mac and its diminishing battery power, my not- pondering future, my blogging and my selfish symbolic-less favouritism of Summer).
a) Gilmore Girls. It took 10 years, but finally they have my undivided attention due to excellent, witty writing, and flawlessly flawed characters (that makes sense, in my mind at least).
b) Double beds and why I cannot for the life of me commit to staying in the middle. Why is that? Logically one would surely bask in the space and enjoy taking up the whole thing. Perhaps it is a subtle way of the universe telling me that I am just not selfish enough to take what I do not need. I just know if my girlfriends and I were having this conversation they would come up with an ulterior conclusion, which I do not wish to embellish.
c) My new running shoes, and how my fear of dirtying them is holding me back from actually using them for working out. Also the anticipated conclusion that working out in flip flops or driving mocs has results that I do not care for.
That said, consider me sorry for not offloading this codswallop on you sooner. Stay tuned!
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